May 7, 2025
Dear Health Partners,
Several years ago I ran across a social media meme pointing out that people who were often thought of as “bossy” were in fact “aggressively helpful” and it resonated with me deeply. I’ve always considered myself to be a “reluctant leader”. I never wanted to be out in front and I certainly never wanted to be in charge of anything beyond my own self.
Many of my colleagues tell me they feel the same. Most of them are not in leadership roles because they wanted to “be in charge” but because they wanted to make a difference.
This spirit of servant leadership is especially prevalent in the nonprofit sector and other mission-driven efforts. Servant leaders are often called upon to stand in the gap or pick up the slack and it doesn’t take long for them to start doing so without being asked. This willingness to serve is one of the things that makes servant leaders a crucial part of teams, but servant leadership comes at a price, for everyone involved.
Servant leaders have a difficult time saying “no”, so they often find themselves overextended. This eventually leads to burn out as they juggle multiple tasks and obligations, but it can also cripple partnerships.
What happens when servant leaders, or others, make a habit of standing in the gap or assuming the responsibilities of others?
First, it blurs the lines and creates a lot of gray space that can ultimately undermine true authority. It also creates incredibly unrealistic expectations. It’s hard to recognize that a gap is present if someone is always quick to step into that space and fill that need. Not only does this give the illusion that there is no need, but it also prevents others from stepping into those leadership roles and growing in their own leadership practice.
But what is a servant leader to do in times like this, when every day seems to bring a new challenge, a new gap, a new need, a new fire to be put out?
First, all of us servant leaders need to take a deep breath and accept the fact that we cannot save the world. Period. We may also want to remind ourselves that, despite how it might sometimes feel, no one else is actually expecting us to save the world. How much of the burden that we feel to stand in the gap and meet unmet needs do we place on ourselves? Are we making our jobs much harder than they need to be?
What happens if we don’t step up? I can hear a chorus of kindred spirits immediately protest, “but it won’t get done or it will fail or we won’t be represented.” The devil’s advocate would counter and ask, “is that such a bad thing? Would that be the end of the world?”
Most of us servant leaders would respond with a resounding YES! But is that response rooted in reality, ego, or the urgency trap?
“I have two kinds of problems, the urgent and the important,” Dwight D. Eisenhower said in a 1954 speech, quoting an unnamed college president. “The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.”
In a 1961 address to the Century Association, Eisenhower offered, “Who can define for us with accuracy the difference between the long and short term! Especially whenever our affairs seem to be in crisis, we are almost compelled to give our first attention to the urgent present rather than to the important future.”
As I consider my own work, I realize that I sometimes shortchange the work that is actually mine to do by assuming responsibility for the work of others simply because I and/or others view it as “urgent.” If I’m not careful, I’ll end up being very reactive to “urgent” needs instead of proactively preparing for what we’ve all determined to be most important. And THAT ultimately wouldn’t help anyone.
So, I’m now stepping outside my comfort zone and forcing myself to pause whenever I am tempted to assume responsibility. Is this my work to do? Are there others who are better positioned to do this work? How can I help without actually assuming responsibility?
Sometimes it’s not so much about me taking responsibility for work that is not mine as it is me taking responsibility for how other people act or react. For example, I hate the idea of bombarding people’s inboxes. This aversion often keeps me from posting on News and Notes as much as I’d like. I find myself worried that a late night post or multiple back-to-back posts will overload folks’ inboxes and I end up waiting, or not posting at all. I have to remind myself that I’m only responsible for my own actions and reactions. I cannot control whether or not people set up their preferences and I cannot control whether or not they get upset at the number of posts. However I CAN control my own actions and reactions and life seems a lot less complicated when I’m not trying so hard to manage control everyone else’s or do anyone else’s job!
I invite you to join me in exploring these two articles from Scientific American and the Harvard Business Review and then pausing to ask, “what work is mine to do?”
Then, what work is yours to do? And what is ours to do together?
We hope you’ll join us and our partners in creating that new system by participating. We also invite you to visit TheHealthCollab.news for more partners announcements, resources, and community events.
-Shannon
Thursday, May 8th at Noon
This month we will be hearing information on three different topics from some dynamic speakers. First on the Agenda:
- Eben Leigh, Community Engagement Coordinator, United Way of Danville Pittsylvania County
Next, we will hear from:
- Krystal Davis, Executive Director, Danville-Pittsylvania County Habitat for Humanity
In honor of Mental Maternal Health Month, we will be hearing from:
- Nicole Neil, Family Resource Specialist, Healthy Families
To learn more about other work happening across the chapter and chime in on priorities, please email Danville Chapter Coordinator, Kitt Mayo at Danville@TheHealthCollab.com
RSVPs have closed but let Kitt know if you’d like to join us!
Join us for the monthly gathering of the Caswell Chapter of The Health Collaborative on Tuesday, May 20th at 12:30pm at the Yanceyville Municipal Building!
Summer is coming, let’s talk about it! We will discuss what we’re excited about as we dive into this active season.
Lunch will be served so please be sure to RSVP by Friday, May 16th.
To learn more about other work happening across the chapter, please email Kyle Warren-Love at Caswell@TheHealthCollab.com
Pittsylvania County Chapter Meeting
Tuesday, May 22, 2025 at 11:30am
Join us for the May 2025 meeting of the Pittsylvania County Chapter of The Health Collaborative!
We are excited to welcome Eben Leigh from United Way, who will provide an informational session on “211: Get Connected, Get Help.” Additionally, we will continue our role as regional conveners and facilitators, creating dynamic opportunities for shared learning, leadership development, and impactful collective action toward health equity. The focus health sectors include Mental Health, Childcare, Transportation, Environmental Justice, Food Systems, and Civic Health.
Enjoy a delicious lunch while engaging in our workgroup sessions.
Please remember to RSVP so we can make the necessary arrangements. We look forward to seeing you there!
To learn more about other work happening across the chapter, please email Jolandria Graves at Pittsylvania@TheHealthCollab.com
Check Out These Partner Announcements and Events
Please be sure to check out our online newsletter, News & Notes at TheHealthCollab.news for even more partner announcements, tools, resources, and a robust meeting and events calendar. Have something to share? Send it to info@TheHealthCollab.com or submit your events directly to the calendar.
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